parenttalk

Is it just a phase or a serious problem? This new blog is to help you help your child cope with life’s ups and downs, from dealing with divorce to preparing for new siblings. Or find out how to understand your child’s behavior.

Everyone, from the youngest child to the oldest adult, experiences anxieties and fears at one time or another. Feeling anxious in a particularly uncomfortable situation never feels very good. However, with kids, such feelings are not only normal, they’re also necessary. Experiencing and dealing with anxieties can prepare young people to handle the unsettling experiences and challenging situations of life.

Anxiety makes someone want to escape the situation — fast. The heart beats quickly, the body might begin to perspire, and “butterflies” in the stomach soon follow. However, a little bit of anxiety can actually help people stay alert and focused. Having fears or anxieties about certain things can also be helpful because it makes kids behave in a safe way. For example, a kid with a fear of fire would avoid playing with matches. As kids grow, one fear may disappear or replace another. For example, a child who couldn’t sleep with the light off at age 4 may enjoy a ghost story at a slumber party years later.

A child may want to pet a lion at the zoo but wouldn’t dream of going near the neighbor’s dog (yes, that was my daughter!).

Typical childhood fears change with age. They include fear of strangers, heights, darkness, animals, blood, insects, and being left alone. Kids often learn to fear a specific object or situation after having an unpleasant experience, such as a dog bite or an accident. Separation anxiety is common when young children are starting school, whereas adolescents may experience anxiety related to social acceptance and academic achievement. When anxious feelings persist, they can take a toll on a child’s sense of well being. The anxiety associated with social avoidance can have long-term effects. For example, a child with fear of being rejected can fail to learn important social skills, causing social isolation.

Many adults are tormented by fears that stem from childhood experiences.

An adult’s fear of public speaking may be the result of embarrassment in front of peers many years before. It’s important for parents to recognize and identify the signs and symptoms of kids’ anxieties so that fears don’t get in the way of everyday life.

The key to resolving fears and anxieties is to overcome them.

Dore E. Frances, M.A., A.C.C.

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